Visions of peaceful coexistence: The Rainbow connection

In the movie "Sleep with me", there is a scene in which Quentin Tarantino discusses his opinion on the true meaning of the movie "Top Gun".

Subversion on a massive scale. Now, as you may know, Quentin Tarantino improvised that scene  and I doubt that the true message of "Top Gun" is one man's struggle with his own homosexuality. An example to help refute this interpretation is  the scene that Tarantino's chracter discusses in which Kelly McGillis is wearing an aviator's suit. It was shot in post production because the studio wanted a little more development in their relationship and she had already had her hair dyed for another movie which forced her to wear a hat. Tarantino uses Top Gun as an example of how people can interpret things from a wide range of vantage points regardless of the intended message. It doesn't have to be subversive, but messages can take on a life of their own, especially in the different mediums of art.

In 1979 I was 6 years old and going to the movie theater was a very special event. I loved watching The Muppet Show and was very excited when I heard that a  Muppet movie was being released.
A 6 year old boy is not normally into sweet ballads, so when Kermit appeared in the bog strumming a banjo and singing, I was quite unhappy until the "chase" part of the movie began. "The Rainbow Connection" was, at that time, nothing more than a sweet song of hope. How disgusting. Over 30 years later, it has taken on a completely new meaning for me. It still has the same basic message of hope and positivity, but in light of recent events, it has become more of an anthem for civil rights than plain hope. Just take a listen and read the lyrics with an open of a mind, as if you were hearing the song for the first time.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.


Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


To begin with from the most simple aspect, "The Rainbow Connection" can be interpreted as a song about the challenges that gay men and women face in the world. Obviously a rainbow is a widely used symbol in gay culture whether it be at Pride parades,  decals in the window of bars or on church placards to denote that an establishment welcomes gay men and women.
It is visual harmony in a world filled with unlimited differences. A spectrum of variance that illumninates the dark when combined which is a hopeful and positive idea found in a natural phenomenon.
Now with this interpretation we can go through the lyrics and take a somewhat vague or generalised message and see an all too real situation for many young people without hope over being ostracized because of their sexual orientation. Millions of children wondering if they will ever feel apart of a community, be looked at as equals, or feeling secure in who they were born to be.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.

I can't imagine having been given the incredibly difficult task to be told that the way I was born is wrong and against everything that is right in the world and then maintain a sense of hope for the future. The constant barrage of messages telling gay boys and girls, men and women that they are making a choice and that they should just be like everyone else.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.

It takes a great deal of courage, strength, and perseverance to wade through all of that negativity and discrimination from family, friends, and countless others who claim to have your best interests in mind and still have a clear sense of what you truly want out of life.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

In a way, the vague questioning of the lyrics illustrates the relentless spirit of a people who are in one way or another forced to hide who they are, whether that be indentured servitude or having to put up a facade.
 Gay men and women are still forced into exile  and although the gay community has made great strides in the areas of social, cultural, political, and religious acceptance, they still are not quite viewed as 5/5ths of a citizen in the United States, not to mention the barbaric treatment in 3rd world countries which are actively restricting rights of the gay community up to and including death. They're still fighting their way out of the closet.

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The active passivity and warmth of these lyrics hearken back to a great work of rhetoric in the area of equal rights. It may sound like a bit of a stretch, but Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream speech" outlined a time when people would not look on the color one's skin as an indication of quality, much like that of one's sexual orientation.
I would not put the lyrics of this song alongside a seminal work such as King's speech at the steps of the Lincoln monument, but it does act as a reminder that when calling for equal rights, you speak for all or none. You do not just look to represent a minority of the minority. You represent the few amongst the masses.
More importantly the lyrics of "The Rainbow Connection" speak to the individual in a reassuring manner, especially in the third verse.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The line, "Is this the sweet sound, that called the young sailors," is a reference to the Greek mythological story, "The Odyssey", by Homer in which Sirens attempt to lure sailors ashore by singing in hopes of causing them to crash on the rocks. The singer isn't quite sure if the voices they're hearing are in their best interests,  but they keep calling to the listener from within. The voices are inexorably tied with their identity. A fact which cannot be ignored.
 Another image that is brought to mind in this verse is the stereotype of the Navy being a semi-gay organisation. This belief is in large part attributed to the longstanding rivalry between the Marines and the Navy. An example of that can be seen the movie, "A few good men", with references to the "Faggoty White uniform", of the Navy. In light of the repeal of D.A.D.T., allowing gay men and women to openly serve in the armed forces, this takes on a very new resonance in the song's lyrics.

I know that most of what I have written is purely my own interpretation and this sort of armchair psychology can be done by almost anyone with respect to works of art in a given medium. Nietszche was labeled an anti-Semitic, misogynistic, anarchist, but those interpretations are highly debated and controversial. Countless religions feel they have the copyright on "The word of God" despite their lack of proof or historical fact. Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher most likely did not intend "The Rainbow Connection" to be a gay rights anthem, but at times, great art takes on a life and message of it's own. The lyrics speak of an irrepressible desire to be proud of one's self. They wish for the listener to reach a place of rest, much like the path of another gay icon, Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz".

Something that is undeniable throughout the course of human history is the need for being apart of a community. We inherrently want to be with other people, who hopefully are like us, share a culture, language, history of experience, and most important of all, a connection. We are in the midst of a critical point in the history of mankind where we can not just fall back on culture as an excuse for our behavior, but use it as a spring board to move beyond what we were born into and create new, universally accepted cultures. We cannot shun that which we in the majority are unaware of. The gay community has been around since the beginning of human kind and they have waited far too long to wait a little more. No matter what you label a group of people, they are human and we cannot take away their inalienable rights, otherwise we are no better than those barbaric cultures who enslaved people for their own gain. We, as a people of this nation, will be viewed as the ones who could have realized the dream of our forefathers and failed to do so out of prejudice.

Glory Days...

I just got back from a long weekend in Las Vegas on Sunday and was preparing to write a "Trip Report", but decided against it so that I can get my thoughts together and come up with a theme to my weekend. Instead I want to talk about something that has been going through my poker mind lately and that is my waining interest in playing poker. Without going into too much detail, I only played about 3 hours of poker over the course of my Las Vegas Extravaganza weekend for multiple reasons. One of which was the fact that I didn't feel an urgency or overwhelming desire to play. I wanted to hang out with my friends who joined me on the trip and I wanted to let go of having to concentrate. It's a bit disappointing to me that I may be losing the spark of passion for poker, but it makes a lot of sense given the times.
 Black Friday was truly a terrible day for poker players all around the world as well as the U.S., even though the elephant had been in the room since 2006. Serious online pros and hobbyists alike faced the  nearly insurmountable task of trying to get back home. The causal player wouldn't be bothered jumping through hoops to get money online which in turn only made the games that much more difficult. It was as if the ocean had just lost all of its lowered tiered fish and made the food chain much more competitive similar to the late 2006 when UIGEA passed and many online poker sites left the U.S. market.
Online poker in the United States might as well be dead, in my opinion. Hardly anyone is getting money off of the few networks that are running and the amount of games available are laughable. The entire community seems to be in a bit of a daze. I can only compare the sudden robust to busto shift online to Enron's collapse in early 2001. The big wigs at the top of the organisations (who don't go to jail), will be fine. They'll have other avenues to explore whether it be playing live, getting jobs other high priced jobs or retiring. It's the grinders and semi-serious hobbyists like myself who will ultimately be forced out, so to speak, which brings this back to my poker life today.

 Soon after Black Friday, I made the decision to take up NLHE more seriously than before and move from LHE permanently. Things started off well in the beginning and although I have hit some breakeven times, that is to be expected, especially when learning a new game. The overall problem is that being a stay at home dad of 3 kids 4 years old and under makes it rather difficult for me to concentrate on poker given the tougher conditions with respect to playing online. Combine that with the fact that the closest casinos that offer poker are all at least an hour away and it makes things all the more difficult to keep my poker brain running and well oiled. I've never been the type of person who can leave an activity for long stretches of time and then come back to them in good shape.
If online poker were to somehow go back to how it was pre Black Friday or even more so pre UIGEA, it would take me some serious retooling to get my poker game back to where it was and even then, I would still be improving from there.
As I went from casino to casino this past weekend I felt as if I was revisiting an old apartment or dorm room that I had lived in before. I recognised the tables and the layout. I looked up at the screens that show the wait lists and had a small sense of longing for 2008 through 2010 when I was in the thick excitement over playing poker. I loved discussing strategy on 2+2 and looking at stats on PT3. I loved the feeling when I knew that I had improved and was no longer a complete fish. As I mentioned before, I have been a stay at home dad since 2007, so poker was important to me because it gave me the opportunity to use my mind in a way that I didn't use as a parent. It was also something just for me. My man cave of sorts. There was an energy around poker in those 3 years that made it more than just a TV fad of David & Goliath on ESPN. There was a connection of people around the world. I was discussing poker with people in Los Angeles, Oklahoma, New York, Scandinavia, Australia, and more. I had become apart of a community that my everyday life friends didn't really understand. I guess you could say, poker was my 1960's. What was once considered a degenerate lifestyle, was...well still a degenerate lifestyle, but now more legitimate. Some of the stank had been washed off and febreezed which made online poker all that much more acceptable for the many everyday citizens.

 I walked by the Venetian casino where I had a great run in 2006 and where I met up with a great LHE player from 2+2 last year. It just seemed like a mirage to me. Everyone needs to take a break from things at different times. I hope that this is nothing more than a break. I am looking forward to a time when US players are back in the thick of playing online and not having to find creative ways to get funds into and out of their accounts. I hope that I get the chance to be apart of the second coming of online poker and mania that was born out of the Moneymaker effect. Most of all, I hope I still have that spark to play poker seriously regardless of the stakes. I got into poker with the fantasy of winning that big payday Ala Chris Moneymaker, but I'll settle for being a solid winning player at the grinder stakes.



9/11/01

It will be no surprise that with the 10th anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks that bloggers will be posting their, "Where were you on 9/11?" entries. It may seem cliche, but in the case of 9/11, I think it's a good idea for people to have a hard copy of their memories on such a historic and tragic event. First hand recollections of historic events can at time be a bit hazy to the reader, especially when those recollections are from times long ago. The audience may not have the cultural context of the times to truly understand the impact on the everyday citizen. Awaiting word of monumental news events could be anguishing for a family with son's on the front lines during the Civil War. Today people lose their cool if their iPhone is not in a hot spot.  Getting your experiences down that have something in common with a global community is not only cathartic and supportive in nature, but may hopefully remind us that through our differences, we are all people with common goals. We need to continue to strive for peaceful coexistence and tolerance as long as no one group is infringing on the inalienable rights of others.

2001 was shaping up to be quite a memorable year for me as I had finished one small theater production where I was one of the leads and had been cast in another production which had a good reputation at the lower levels of the Chicago Musical scene. I was working full time at a large video rental chain that rhymes with "Cock Mustard" so I had insurance as well as a steady income to pay the bills while I performed in theater on the weekends. Near the end of the production run I had started a romance with one of my female cast members. We started dating after the production had closed and  I would stay over at her apartment from time to time if I didn't have to work in the morning. We lived nearby one another in Chicago, but I had to ride my bike over to where she lived or she would drive to see me. The night of September 10th, 2001, which was a Monday, I went over to have dinner and watch a movie after a theater rehearsal that was in her neighborhood. We talked about my upcoming birthday and what plans we could make together. We fell asleep watching the movie "High Fidelity" which coincidentally was filmed a few blocks away. She had to work the next day and would give me a ride back to my apartment on her way to work. We woke and had coffee and toast for breakfast without watching any TV. About half way through the drive, she turned on a news radio station which was already talking about a disaster in New York City. This was moments before the 2nd plane hit the South tower of The World Trade Center. They announced that people were falling from the windows and we both lost our breath. I couldn't quite understand what was going on. I was rather ignorant to foreign affairs and was focused on my little theater world and trying to make a name for myself at the lowest levels. The radio announcer said,
"You will never forget where you were at this moment."

 We looked at each other in silence as we weren't entirely sure how this newly realized romance might progress.
I was dropped off at my apartment, still in a bit of confusion as to what was happening in New York City. I raced up the stairs and woke one of my roommates, Geoffrey, to let him know something terrible had happened. One of his artist friends, Matt, was sleeping on the couch and I quickly turned on the TV to the first local channel. Both of the World Trade Center towers were on fire and the three of us let out a collective,
"Holy Shit..."
 The news anchors were confirming that two commercial airliners had struck the Towers and that there was speculation that this was an act of terrorism. They also announced that there had been an explosion of some kind at the Pentagon, but are unsure of it's cause.
My roommate pointed to the TV and said,
"People are jumping, what the fuck is going on?"
The next ten minutes were a blur as we watched  smoke cascade in to the sky.
I was still trying to make sense of not only what was happening in New York, but the whole idea that 2 planes had been hijacked and flown in to skyscrapers. Who could plan this? Why?
"Oh my god, it's going to collapse.", Geoffrey said.
"What? That can't happen..."
The South tower just buckled right above the floors where smoke was flowing out of and collapsed on top of it self, floor by floor.
"Was there anyone in there? Were they evacuated? Are they all dead?", were some of the endless questions going through my mind.
The News anchor somehow kept his composure (I'm not sure which channel we were watching) and stated that if the South Tower collapsed, it wouldn't be long until the 2nd tower fell as well.
"If this was Terrorism we need to fucking find those cock suckers and fucking bomb them back into the god damned stone age", Geoffrey spurted out. He was now pacing around in visible anger. His friend, Matt just sat as I did, on the couch, slack jawed in shock.
We watched as people fled the streets near Ground Zero to get away from the monster like cloud of debris that was rolling through each street corridor.
Are we at war? What is the response to this? How is this happening?

It was also announced that a plane had crashed in Pennsylvania. I, like most people on this day, was petrified to leave my home. Although we were quite far from the Sears Tower in Chicago, we were still in a major city and what if a plane that was intended for a skyscraper nearby, crashed into our neighborhood. I felt a wave of helplessness wash over me that left nothing, but seething anger.
About an hour later my body started to relax  a little and in an effort to cope, I called my manager at work to find out if the store was closing given the events. I was a bit shocked that the corporate headquarters decided to keep all stores open. I arrived a bit before 4 o'clock for my shift and it was basically a ghost town inside. We had the stores TV set to new stations the entire night and didn't do much in the way of work. There was a man standing on the corner the entire night waving an American flag as passing cars honked and cheered. It was a strange yet comforting feeling that night as the few customers who did come into the store spoke to us like we were neighbors. There was no need of introductions or "Hellos". I was inexorably connected to everyone which filled me with a bittersweet feeling of pride, as I knew that in time, it would be paved over with my pessimistic view of the various personalities that frequented the store.
Within a few weeks the girl I was dating decided to go back to her previous boyfriend who had moved back from LA, I would end my aspirations of performing in theater with the end of the calendar year, and to reject the notion of joining the military with the request of going to Afghanistan as I had learned that Iraq was the real target for the current administration. The one thing that has never left me is the feeling of sadness for those who passed away on 9/11/01 and pride for those who fought to save them. I cherish the knowledge that despite our differences, Americans can and will come together in times of need.

Lady Gaga: All I hear is radio Blah blah

Whenever I hear about Lady Gaga or one or her songs, I think of a line from the Broadway musical, "Jelly's Last Jam" about the life of Jelly roll Morton.

"There was one messenger, who came to believe that the message was him..."

 Lady Gaga is, in my opinion, a living contradiction. Her in your face, no apologies, no retreat, reverberating rainbow persona has the appeal of a highway accident. Millions of people, whether they be fans or haters, are enthralled by the endless variations of fashion, performance, Pop-musical genre, and neo-futuristic sex appeal that Lady Gaga offers. Her outlandish public appearances can be likened to that of a Circus concession stand that sells nothing, but cotton candy in any color you choose. Her art becomes visual white noise that demands a higher ante with each ensuing performance. The inherent problem to Lady Gaga's vita d'arte is that her innovative product is lacking in originality. The Haus of Gaga is nothing more than a collage of pop-culture references and influence put together like 2 songs that have been "mashed" by the use of combining tracks and overdubbing vocals. When it comes to the end product of Lady Gaga's imagination, it is at best derivative of her interests and at worst, Pop-culture plagiarism on a grand scale.

A few nights ago Lady Gaga took on a alter ego called, Joey Calderone who looks like a conglomerate of Elvis, Danny Zucko, and Ralph Macchio with a fair attempt at a blue collar New York accent. She was totally committed to the part and from what I have seen and read, did not break character. Unfortunately, it all fell a bit flat and to quote the Bare naked ladies, "it's all be done before". Annie Lennox dressed up as an Elvis-like performer at an awards show back in 1984. Andy Kaufman, who could be considered one of the finest performance art comedians, invented Tony Clifton and obviously David Bowie became Ziggy Stardust in the early 70's.

 Lady Gaga has been a staunch supporter and outspoken advocate for the gay community, especially around the subject of equal/civil rights with same sex marriage as one of the key issues. Her dressing up as someone else, let alone a person of the opposite gender may have been an attempt at bringing to light the fact that we are all people despite our sexual orientation which is an admirable message that I personally agree with, but if it was also performance art, then it was an inarticulate attempt  that comes across as attention seeking. You don't convert the non-believers by slapping them in the face and you don't preach to the choir if you want to make headway in your cause célèbre.

Joey Calderone/Lady Gaga

Annie lennox in 1984

Tony Clifton/Andy Kaufman

Ziggy Stardust/David Bowie

Back when the Gaga/Beyonce song "Telephone" was released, all I heard about was how shockingly wonderful the video was. At first I refused to see it, but soon relented. Once again the entire video was packed with pop-culture cliches ranging from hardcore prison sexploitation to the obvious "Kill Bill" references complete with Pulp Fiction-esque dialogue and finished off with the glossy color pallate of a comic book graphic novel. Well, that was 10 minutes I won't get back. Who was this for other than her fans? Where is the innovation? Where is the originality?
All that I got from the video was that Lady Gaga is an ok dancer and isn't shy about showing off her...assets. That's not completely true. I understood the underlying messages that there are sub-cultures out there who are filled with people like the rest of us even if their interests differ from that of the the average Joe and Lady Gaga attempts to convey this message while also pushing the limits of what the main stream will accept . The problem is that she may be doing a disservice to the groups that she supports. Once again, those who are not cut from the Gaga cloth will in all likelihood, shun her performance, in whatever medium that may be, and blame the sub-culture that she is drawing attention to. Perhaps Lady Gaga is following in the footsteps of "John Doe" in the movie S3VEN by hitting them over the head with a hammer rather than tapping them on the shoulder. 

Video for "Telephone

A few months ago I was driving back from the grocery store and had the radio on (no I don't have an ipod dock in my Highlander) and heard the song, "Born this way" during the chorus. I didn't know at the time it was Lady Gaga, but with in seconds of listening I found myself humming the chorus to Madonna's, "Express yourself". Now before you say,

"Duhhhh. Barber!! That was in the news along time ago, you're not telling us anything we don't already know (unless of course, you don't know the song or any of the other references above, then I am so just shut the fuck up)."

Once I found out that this was the new Lady Gaga song, I chuckled to myself and said,

"Figures."

Once again, she was appropriating not only musical themes from Madonna, but the core of Madonna's style as well. There is the spoken word section much like in the song "Vogue" (Dietrich and DiMaggio...) as well as the aspect of both Madonna and Lady Gaga being in charge. You may have also noticed the obvious commentary on stereotypical gender roles in that Madonna is the CEO/slave driver of a pseudo factory, while Lady Gaga gives birth to a gun resembling a phallus that is evil. Men=Evil in the world.

On a side note the beginning of the video reminds me of the fake commercial that Grace Jones' character stars in during the movie, "Boomerang"

I read quite a few articles on Lady Gaga in writing this blog entry. A few quotes of hers that stood out to me were from an interview that she gave to Rolling Stone back in 2009. She was describing her tour at the time:


The tour, which has been billed as the "first ever" pop-electro opera, is "very, very forward, very, very innovative," the singer insists. And that aesthetic, she explains, has been captured in the very design of the show.
"The theatrics and story elements are in the style of an opera. Imagine if you could take the sets of an opera, which are very grand and very beautiful, and put them through a pop-electro lens," she told Rolling Stone about the tour (Oct 22 2009)



Now, before I start ripping into this little nugget, I will have to say that it would be unfair to take these words and super impose my interpretation on them as if I know exactly what she is trying to articulate. I will have to tread lightly...
I feel as though these quotes highlight Lady Gaga's ignorance in her description of  "new", "innovative", or "style", whether that be visual or musical. What the hell is a Pop-electro opera and how is that new or innovative? The Who wrote "Tommy" in 1969 which was considered a Rock Opera. Rush wrote "2112" which was a concept album in that it had a storyline of sorts with musical themes to represent characters and aspects of their personalities. For God's sake, even Styxx did something similar in the early 80's on the album "Kilroy was here", with the ever popular song, Mr. Roboto.
 Now, to give you a little insight, if you haven't read any of my previous entries, I originally aspired to become an opera singer. Ultimately, I stopped as I felt that I was not good enough to pursue it, but in all my years of being involved in music, one way or another, I have come to know quite a bit about opera and what it is known for. One could say that it is very grand and beautiful, but the sets aren't really what opera is truly known for. Opera sets have only become important in that genre over the past 30 years as a result of the emphasis being placed on the visual aspect above everything else performance based. That doesn't mean that elaborate sets and costumes weren't around before that, but there was much more of a suspension of disbelief and the grand manner were byproducts of the wonderful sounds coming from the soloists, the orchestra and the large choruses which incidentally are being reduced in numbers due to financial problems (possibly because of the cost from those grand fucking sets).
I find it ironically disgusting that a pop-singer never mentions singing within the description of a Pop-opera performance. In the end, it's all about the singing when you are a singer, isn't it?
Sorry, what the hell was I thinking? A singer talking about singing, what are you insane?

One could say that Lady Gaga is an entertainer who wears many hats. One of those hats she claims to wear is that of a "Performance Artist" although I would say that she's more Shock Jock than artist. To me, performance artists can convey their point of view in strange and unorthodox manners that challenge the audience and often leave them uneasy. The artist may often use loud and confrontational avenues, as Lady Gaga does, but they have subtle and quiet techniques at their disposal as well. The audience becomes the canvas and the performance artist incorporates our senses to create a chiaroscuro of response like the painter uses a range of colors to create the illusion of depth and motion. It is this interplay of big and little variants that capture the audience's attention and hold it for the duration of the performance in order to express the artist's vision. If you only have 1 or 2 gears to shift between then the performance, no matter how grand, will be flat. Shock and awe are not, in my opinion, the end result of art in any form. Those are, but instruments in the overall design of the machine used to create a performance which apparently Lady Gaga is unaware of. As I stated earlier, most everything she does is over the top, in your face, knock you off your feet bright. The Haus of Gaga has the subtlety of a 12 inch cock sticking out of a glory hole in the men's restroom.

Now, I was taught that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. That old adage doesn't really apply to this blog entry as I haven't said anything all that mean about Lady Gaga or her fans, but just for those who may disagree...
 ...I think that the overall message of what Lady Gaga's music and performances convey is positive which can't be said for most. She is a strong supporter of gay rights which is a sad commentary on the part of society that doesn't view the subject of same sex marriage as a civil rights issue. Lady Gaga has a lot of balls to go out and do that voodoo that she do. I think it is a necessity that we have performers along her lines in every generation, whether they be original and innovative or derivative and a rehash of times gone by. As Hippocrates said, "Ars longa, vita brevis (translated into art lasts forever, but artists die and are forgotten). If there is one reason why I would applaud Lady Gaga it would be that she helps to fill a void in the area of confrontation in Pop-culture which is mostly devoid of critical thinking, even if she muddies the waters.
For me, Lady Gaga is like a chocolate statue. Sweet and ornate on the outside, but hollow on the inside. Her musical compositions are like that of a Beatles tribute band that writes the songs they think John, Paul, George, and Ringo would've written had they stayed together. It doesn't even offer some interesting musical twist as a band like The White Stripes' rock inspired riffs or Matthew Sweet's "Girlfriend" (which when I heard it made me think I was listening to a Beatle's remake that I had been previously  unaware of.).
 Lady Gaga's songs not only sound like cheap rip offs of the Glam Dance Pop 80's Bohemian Techno New Age Underground Club Kid scene, but they almost plagarize the musical composition that they admire, which can also be said of her fashions which vary between Madonna, Boy George, Cher, David Bowie, Courtney Love and so on. She consumes that which  influences her and then refashions it into a dress comparable  to "Buffalo Bill" from the movie Silence of the Lambs. She works tirelessly at hiding who she really is behind artistic mediums. It brings to mind the sun glass wearing Michael Jackson of 1983 who was deathly afraid to talk more than a few broken sentences. As we now know, he shunned his appearance and wished to reconstruct, literally and figuratively, himself into a new person. I wonder if Lady Gaga even knows who she is anymore or if she ever did.

My poker history 2009 Part 2

If I was playing like a lion in March, then I was definitely being showered in April as my rungood continued. I started off the month playing .50-1 and dabbled a little bit in NL10. How hard could NLHE be? After a few days of breakeven no-limit, I pushed the idea to the side and finally started to add some
1-2 FR LHE tables in to the mix with some nice success. My plan was to play my regular preflop game, but to be ultra aggressive postflop so the LAG/TAG and MMTers knew not to push me around. Since I was knew to the stakes, many of the regular players respected my raises and the fish did what they normally do, regardless of how much the bet is. I didn't play many SNGs as I wanted to give most all of my attention to moving up and playing cash games. My wife was entering the last trimester of her pregnancy and I knew that there would be little time for poker when the twins were born.
 I started to get a bit cocky with the quick success at 1-2 and tried some HU LHE as well (there is a side note story to this which I plan on devoting one entire blog entry to as it is an interesting memory for me.), with a tough introduction as I lost a little over 60 BBs in 20 minutes. Nevertheless in, my graph was steadily climbing as I won over $400 running at a touch below 3BB/100. I had visions of 2/4 and possible 3/6 tables dancing in my head for May as poker was an EZ game.

May was a little bit of a different story and a sign of times to come. My poker graph looked like a mountain range that fortunately contained one extra peak than valley to keep me in the black $110 with a winrate of a disappointing .58BB/100 over the course of 9,000ish hands. The players at 1-2 were catching on to me. June was basically the same as May except that my poker playing basically stopped after the first calendar week. My wife was scheduled for a C-section and there was a lot to do to make sure that everything was ready.
 We had a night nurse hired to help 3-4 nights a week for the first month which was going to cost a pretty penny and the little time I would have when all of the kids were sleeping could not be for poker. I wish that I had decided to completely take time off from poker even when things calmed a little because I came back to early in July. I only played a little over 2,500ish hands and lost over $200 at a clip of  -5.61BB/100/.
Another unfortunate experience away from poker was that I had shingles. I was obviously stressed with the expectations of twins, while being with my then 2 year old son and getting the house ready for the change. My wife was working up to the week before her delivery and if you put that all together with a sprinkle of insane family members, you get a rundown immune system which opens you up to shingles. I took some time off and moved back down in stakes just until I felt my head was more clear and I knew that I could be focused.

My poker history 2009 Part 1

2009 was the first year that I felt more confident in my poker game, especially when it came to LHE. I had been playing .50-1 online and knew that I was a winning player over a long enough sample size. I had built my online bankroll up to the point where I had a good amount of cushion for the next level up at 1-2 if I felt confident in the jump. Normally you want between 250-500 BBs at the stake you're normally at, depending on your winrate, your standard deviation, as well as your playing styles (and how it may effect the first 2 factors). I knew that moving up in limits would be obligatory as I had been playing .50-1 for 6 months with some success. My plan was to see how the first few months of 2009 went at .50-1 and then re access in March. That quickly went out the window as basically had a winrate of about 1 BB/100 over the course of 17,000 hands. I had opened up my preflop game a little, but wasn't totally confident in the adjustment to a hyper aggressive stake like 1-2 was in 2009. I had gotten to know quite a few of the regular .50-1 FR grinders on Pokerstars over the last 6 months and many of them were MMTers (a.k.a Mass Multi tables). When I would normally be playing 3-5 tables at once, they were playing anywhere from 16 all the way up to 30 tables. In addition to using Poker Tracker 3 (PT3) or HEM (Holdem Manager) poker software, they also had programs like Table Ninja(tm) and Hot keys so that they could play each table and not time out during a hand. There were alot of MMTers playing 1-2 FR LHE on Pokerstars at this time. The main reason was a thing called Supernova status. It has changed since 2009, but MMTers were basically looking to make a small profit if possible playing LHE, but accruing VPPs to use for cash back bonuses. If they hit their goals and maintained their Supernova status, they could make over $100,000 dollars, unless of course they lost a ton actually playing. One player that I had a lot of experience with posted a thread for this in the uLHE forums on 2+2.
Do you know Tyler Durden?

 This strong competition was a big concern to me with regard to moving up in limits. Many veteran 2+2 posters like playing against MMTers because they had flaws in their game due to the fact that they were playing so many tables at once and you could see a pattern of play over and over again. I actually had some success against Mr. Durden when I played against him in 2009 because his strategy became so apparent and once could sit on his immediate left and exploit him. Anyways...
 I had was playing alot of hands early in the year which was a luxury given to me for 2 main reasons. My son who was 1 1/2 years old at the time, was taking long afternoon naps which would give me 2-3 hours of free time which I used primarily to play poker. 2 hours of 4 tables at 60 hands an hour would be 450-500 hands a day which was twice as much per day as a live poker grinder in the casinos. The other big reason, or I should say reasons was the fact that my wife was pregnant with twin boys. Once they were born, I knew that my time would evaporate for at least 2 months if not longer. It would take a while for all 3 kids to be in a sleeping pattern that may allow me some time to play poker once again and even then it may not be my A game. Possibly not even my C game.
 As I said before, the first 2 months of 2009 didn't go exactly as I had hoped, results wise. That was until March rolled in like a lion, but in my case, a good roaring lion. Perhaps, I was the lion, roaring and marching into March...oh never mind, it went fucking good ok?
 I one $337 in that month and had a winrate of 3.10 BB/100 over the course of 11,000ish hands. I was stoked to say the least. Another moneymaker in that month was some 180 man SNG (sit N gos) that I played. I won another $310 playing those with a 3rd place finish and a 2nd which was quite profitable.
March '09 had been the most profitable tournament month for me in my online poker playing up to that time. At the end of 2008  I had discovered these multi table SNGs which didn't have a 3,000+ player pool and could be much easier to make money while not risking anything due to the fact that Pokerstars allowed you to earn Tournament dollars that you could use instead of your bankroll. There was really no downside.
After having such a huge month, dollar wise, I decided that April would be the time to take the plunge into the waters of 1-2 FR LHE on Stars. It's funny when something like "run good" follows along with you as things become more difficult, but leaves your side in the times when it seems most simple. I crushed the 1-2 tables (when I played them) in April '09 running over 3.0BB/100, but was almost breakeven at .50-1 at the same time. I took in over $500 in cash game play and added another $50 in the one SNG that I placed in that month. In March, my profits were enough to have 300 BBs at 1-2 and added to my April profits I was rolled for 2/4 if I wanted to take a shot. Of course I didn't as I am a curmedgeon at heart and would not want to risk losing what I had worked so hard for...

Coming to you live in God's Country.

So I decided to learn how to play Backgammon a few days ago. I saw a Hoyle's rules book in the beach house where I am staying and took a break from kid duty to read the rules. There was a backgammon set, but I didn't have anyone to play with, so I downloaded a droid application and went on to play over 200 games at different skill levels. This may be the next thing I become hooked on, unless I try Baccarat, which I could possibly try out in Vegas next month. I have a pretty basic idea of Backgammon strategy and I am torn between going online and looking up advanced strategies or just taking this game as a chance to learn something without any external help, beyond the basic things I have read.
I haven't had much time for live poker for the past 3 weeks which is a bit dis concerning given that my last 2 sessions were terrible as far as results go. I am itching to have another live session before I go to Vegas next month, partially so I don't get too rusty with respect to live play as well as the fact that I don't plan on playing poker 24/7 for the few days I am there. This trip to Vegas is going to be with 5 other guys and will pretty much be a "bachelor party" of sorts in their minds, while I will be hopefully relaxing a majority of the time whilst always with drink hand. I'd like to play some NLHE as I have only played LHE in Vegas the 5 times I've been there. My friends are looking forward to "Sin City", if you get my meaning, and I have a different mind set at the moment. Being a stay at home dad, I want to time to myself to wake up whenever I like and do whatever it is I want while on vacation. I am not looking to get a happy ending or put $1 bills in G-strings so when the group goes off to those activities, that will be my best chance to go and play poker. I am also looking forward to having a nice cigar and some scotch at Casa Fuente.

The online poker front has been going rather well in August. I have mostly been playing NLHE .02-.04, albeit at the shallow tables, which means a maximum buy-in of 50 BBs. I plan on playing the 100 BB max tables as soon as my online BR gets to $80 which will be 20 buyins. my current online BR is at a little over $71, which $32 of that has been winnings in August, not including rake back. I haven't been posting much strategy in the 2+2 forums, but I have a goal of starting to frequent the micro full ring forums as of September 1st if my BR is at $80. I know, I know. This is all very exciting. Perhaps that is why I have so many followers so far. It is rather interesting to think that I started my online bankroll, post Black Friday, with only .39 that I got on Cake Poker from trading in Gold cards from 2008. I've won a total of $55 since BF and the rake back helped me early on.

It strange to think of how much money I put into online poker, or should I say lost, back in 2005 before I ran good. It's also strange to think how I have built a uber-nano stakes BR with nothing in the past 4 months. When I get back home, my first blog goal is to begin the 2nd part of my poker journey which starts up in 2008. Regardless of what happened before, I look at that year as when I truly began to learn about playing LHE. I like to glorify the pre-UIGEA online poker times of 2004-2006, but I really enjoyed 2008-2010 when it comes to my own development and results. I am no where near being a finished product when it comes to poker and probably never will, but it seemed like the golden years to me. Kind of like Baseball in the 50's and 60's while the pre UIGEA days were like Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb.
Well, I will leave you with that for now and hope to hear from someone soon, especially with any suggestions on any of the subjects in my posts. Have fun, the summer is almost coming to an end.